A Union made in Hell

Well, not that this is a surprise, nor that in the last few years this hasn’t been predictable, but the wacked-out Evangelicals and the crazy conservative Catholics have officially documented their union, yes, now a righteous body of defunct entities is working to protect itself against the "evils" of America and their own eventual obscurity. Oh, yes, it's the same tired story of their stance against abortion, same-sex marriage, and stem-cell research, just to name a few; but now they’re holding hands and casting spells as a united front.

According to today’s NYT’s article, Christian Leaders Unite on Political Issues, these pedantic leaders have collectively put into writing their (demands) beliefs for the benefit of the Office of the President and Congress. This latest hodgepodge of conservative Christians want the world to know they (still) don’t support same-sex marriage or healthcare reform (on the pretenses that there was the Federal and medical allowance for abortions) or stem-cell research, and one can only imagine the other sensible items listed, like caring for the environment. They don't seem to have gotten the message that their religious beliefs have no jurisdiction on the State. Still, they want to put into writing and formally present how bigoted, hate-filled and scientifically inept they are. And rather than take too much issue with their latest stunt, perhaps we should thank them for scripting their soap-box rhetoric, lest there be a future dispute of he said, she said. I mean, I've always suspected their home-schooling tactics to be dangerous by generally dummying-down and socially depriving youth in our society, spewing their prejudice beliefs as a religious doctrine and maintaining absolute control over people so as to manipulate their characters and the money from their pockets.

Look, if these folks want to debate faith issues, they should debate each other in the "right ways" to worship their god, or even, bully the Catholic Church about how it oppressed and persecuted hundreds of millions for more than two thousand years and criminally allowed its entrusted priests stay in parishes after raping its youth. Perhaps they can even ponder why all these crappy lesser sects of Evangelists sprung up over night like the mold in the basements of shopping centers and other abandoned storefronts that they inhabit.

The funniest thing about all this nonsense is that the behemoth, the pinnacle power of Christianity, the Catholic Church, is bowing down along side and even supporting the splintered fragments of the Evangelists who, supposedly only exist because they couldn’t accept or agree to the teachings and hierarchy of Catholicism. My God, the Catholics are even partnering up with the Mormon Church! Formerly, all of these institutions repealed and disavowed each other’s practices for as long as their competitor existed. And as I’ve said before, now they see themselves, and more importantly, the money, drying up and going the way of the dodo. “It's time for action”, so these wacos claim! And since these folks have no intention of changing their formula of manipulation, fearmongering and money-grubbing from the believers in the name of The Almighty God - albeit, a damn good business model that has worked for lots of years - today they're pulling together, and tomorrow, possibly even considering a merger, to give them ever more clout, I suppose. But seriously, wouldn't it be great if these creepy bigots did begin to eat each other up and "buy" each others' assets? The faithful would be like Ping-Pong balls bouncing between the rubrics - speaking in tongues one day with a crazy, overweight, red-faced, oily-haired screaming preacher to kneeling in front of statues, asking for the intercedence of the Saints to Jesus for eating meat on Lenten Fridays.

What I don’t understand is why, in order to preserve any remaining dignity and what little remains of the grip they have on believers, don’t they quietly go off and continue living their lives for what’s left of the influence they have. Go, already! If they want to live by the way they claim to believe, then do it, but keep out of my life and public policy. Go and live your beliefs in the caves that you so desperately want to return to, and continue to rape the minds, bodies and pockets of your women and children because you’ve lost your hold elsewhere.

Here's a hint, though: just like any other institution and business enterprise, updating, modifying and improving products and services is crucial to survival.

Now, for the most disturbing piece from the article: '“They say they also want to speak to younger Christians who have become engaged in issues like climate change and global poverty, and who are more accepting of homosexuality than their elders. They say they want to remind them that abortion, homosexuality and religious freedom are still paramount issues”'…and '“We argue that there is a hierarchy of issues,” said Charles Colson, a prominent evangelical who founded Prison Fellowship after serving time in prison for his role in the Watergate scandal.... “We’re hoping to educate them that these are the three most important issues.”' But of course, why would someone have more concern for saving the planet that completely and entirely supports life, than fighting against the sinful nature of two people loving each other? I mean come on, get your priorities straight – be a real conservative Christian and persecute the homosexuals and the liberals who create, educate and tolerate, and don’t worry about feeding those starving people across the globe (Wait, do I say “land” here to imply that the world truly isn’t round, but flat? Christian science is so hard.), they ain’t Christians anyway; God has already smote them. Thanks Colson, you're a real talent, a real beacon of hope and truth!